want you to ask or help answer the the most common
questions about the lifestyle and the Korral. Please
send your questions or answers to firstname.lastname@example.org
|The first question
was "What are some of the rules that people in the
lifestyle should know?" Members answered and what
follows are the answers condensed into several general
1. First and most important, no means no! It has been said that, "No means no, maybe means no, and too drunk to say yes means no." (Hints for significant others, "I'm not comfortable with this." means, "No!")
2. Communication between you and your partner is a must. A lot of drama can be avoided with good communication. Always talk to your partner because what might be okay to you may not okay with your partner. If you and your partner do not communicate, you probably won't last long in the lifestyle. Stick with the rules you set with your partner, and if a rule boundary is pushed, be forgiving, but discuss ways to avoid that in the future. Some couples have a word or sign that between them means , "I 'm not into this."
3. If you are interested in playing with 1/2 of a couple, you should ALWAYS approach the other half to ask for permission, if you want to play separately.
4. Always, always ask permission. From watching to touching to joining always ask. Just because you touched before doesn't mean you can touch the next time without asking.
5. Don't judge others by your own standards. One person's kink is another person's weird. It doesn't make either of them bad.
6. If your interested one half of a couple be sure to involve both halves of the couple in the conversation. It shows you have respect for the other half. Some people find it a huge turn off that you can not even give the person the courtesy of a conversation. Also, it is a sign of respect to return the other half of the couple to their spouse.
7. Every couple has different rules. If you have hard rules you need to express these before the fun starts. Respect others limits. Don't assume.
8. Every swap should have a unanimous "yes" vote by all participants. If anybody is not up for play, don't proceed. Taking one for the team is not a good idea in the long run.
9. Do not be offended if someone does not want to play. There may be many reasons why they might not be able to, or want to, do not take it personally. Take "no" gracefully.
10. When someone leaves their door open, it usually means you may enter.
Enter, watch, but don't touch unless invited by a word or by someone reaching out to you.
11. No drama, (or as little as possible, because there can be some drama in relationships of any kind.) Keep your drama private. Drama stays at home or at least away from a lifestyle event. People talk and you'll get a reputation for drama if you bring it to an event.
12. Do not perpetuate rumors. Never. Regardless of the facts you think you have.
13. Be honest about your situation, what you want, what you're looking for, etc.
14. Be polite, be nice, have respect, don't take yourself too seriously, and have fun!